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My friend and I moved to a new city at the same time and we both had trouble qualifying for an apartment. His problem was that he had bad credit. My problem was that I did not have a job yet. He suggested we move in together to make it easier to qualify, and I said that was out of the question.

Suddenly mansplaining mode kicked in.

"Now listen," he said, "I know you want to be an INDEPENDENT WOMAN. But sometimes you just have to do what you have to do."

Last time I checked, this move-in-together situation he was proposing would have been *equally* beneficial for us—certainly not a case of me “needing” him and becoming dependent on him while the reverse was not true. I somehow doubt he would have seen this situation as him giving up being an “INDEPENDENT MAN” if he’d leaned on my credit to qualify for a place.

Clue-phone, guys: If your phrasing would sound ridiculous describing a man, you probably shouldn’t say it to a woman. It’s pretty ignorant to insinuate that a woman claiming she can take care of herself is awfully noble but ultimately impractical.

(We ended up qualifying separately with special contracts. I got a job within a month and qualified for a better place the next year. Throughout our friendship he continued to bring up wanting to live together and tried to tell me it would be good for me to quit my job and work on my writing. No thanks.)

  1. usapotterfan reblogged this from mazarinedrake and added:
    Either that or he was just willing to use sexist condescension in his attempt to take advantage of her credit....
  2. mazarinedrake reblogged this from partiallythere and added:
    wow Anyone else getting a “this guy wanted to fuck the OP real bad” vibe?
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