May 2013
82 posts
4 tags
How Germany is really France...as told to Germans
I was sitting on the train when a man, talking very loudly, sat down next to me. At first I thought he was talking to himself (not a rare occurrence on public transit) because I couldn’t hear anyone else in the conversation.
He was going on and on about his experiences in Europe, and how he had traveled. Eventually he got to the crux of his argument, which was that all of Europe “is...
4 tags
Apparently wearing skirts and being outdoorsy are...
Last week, I took a resume to a chain sporting goods and recreation store (ever hear of REI?) [yes!! — the Eds.] after submitting an application online.
The sales rep, a man in his thirties, seeing that my last place of employment was a craft/fabric store, said “We usually hire people with outdoor experience.”
“Yes, if you look down the page to recreational activities,...
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Dr. Mansplainer
I was getting a series of tests done for a mysterious lump which had appeared on my thyroid, including a biopsy called a Fine Needle Aspiration, where a small needle is painfully inserted into the lump itself. As a mother to a young child, I found the testing process distressing, because I did not even want to consider the fact that I might be sick (turned out I wasn’t, thank God). The first...
6 tags
No, That's not Racist (Because I Love Doctor Who)
I recently posted an article from Racialicious on my Facebook page. The article describes vitriolic hatred being directed at black female characters, such as Martha Jones from Doctor Who, and how this hatred is racially motivated and often has a very gendered tone as well. The article also explains how this hatred has real-world implications on the way black women are treated in society.
Two of...
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How to Read a Gauge
The other day, my boyfriend asked me to inflate his car tires while he fixed something in the engine. I asked him what pressure to inflate it to, and he said 30, then helpfully told me that 30 would be between 20 and 40 on the pressure gauge. Thanks hon, never would have figured that one out.
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DANGER ZONE
At the moment I am doing fieldwork in Vietnam for my PhD in social anthropology. I am 30 years old.
A few weeks ago a (older, male, Western) researcher who was participating in a workshop here, asked me if I am “alone” in Vietnam. First I didn’t understand the question. He clarified: “Do you have a partner?” After I told him that I am single he said “Ah I see, then it is difficult. You know, it is...
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How not to chat up academic feminists
I’ve just returned from one of the largest conferences that attracts people working in my field. So, lots of fantastic academic papers, opportunities to mix with the leaders in the field, etc. etc. At a social event, two men started chatting to me and my friends. They set in to talking about how feminists are really getting it wrong. We should call ourselves ‘equalists’, really...
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Vanity tips from a self-proclaimed male feminist
My friend and I had made a friend through some humanist organization in town. We’d already become quite tired of his “professional atheism” because, despite both being atheists, we didn’t quite understand the need to treat it like a religion. He certainly tried to mansplain that to us, but it was boring.
Anywho, my friend is a big fan of weird nail polish applications...
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Here's a nice medical student for you!
I’m a medical student and am currently on my internal medicine rotation. Part of my responsibilities as a med student is to call consults, a process that essentially entails calling up a subspecialty service, explaining a patient to them, and asking any questions you may have. Another important note: when someone calls the floor you are on, it is considered good etiquette to let the floor...
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Whose selfish carelessness?
As a student, I was prescribed the contraceptive pill to treat polycystic ovaries. I’d had an ultrasound scan and blood tests, and Cileste [a form of the pill] was regarded as the best treatment for me. However it caused a lot of breakthrough bleeding, exacerbated because you had to take it within a one hour window every day - no more, no less. It would still control the PCOS, but you might...
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Your independence is adorable, but let's be...
My friend and I moved to a new city at the same time and we both had trouble qualifying for an apartment. His problem was that he had bad credit. My problem was that I did not have a job yet. He suggested we move in together to make it easier to qualify, and I said that was out of the question.
Suddenly mansplaining mode kicked in.
“Now listen,” he said, “I know you want to be...
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Why bother with gender studies?
I was on a conference about literature and madness and there was a gender panel. I focus on and am very interested in gender studies so it was out of the question not to attend this panel. One of the lectures was given by a male colleague and at the beginning he states (approximately), “I have never done something with gender before but that’s ok, I can do that anyway…” His...
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The Real American Pastime: Dadsplaining
After seeing the recent dadsplaining entry, I had to submit my own.
Recently, I went to a baseball game with my dad and my brother…but not before an extended argument with my dad about whether I needed to bring a heavier jacket than the one I was wearing.
I explained that I’d checked the weather forecast and would be just fine as I was. He in turn explained that “It gets cold...
3 tags
Annealing Things
I’ve been taking glass arts for at least three years, and I’m an active member in my art department. I’m not highly skilled at working with glass, but at the very least, I know how the basic equipment works. I also know how some of the more “advanced” equipment works too, if you can believe that, given my gender.
Today I was in the shop, in part because another...
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The one with the plus-y end
When I was in college, I worked part time at my residence hall’s front desk. During move-out, I rented out a lot of tools. One particular resident came up to me and asked to rent out a Phillips head screwdriver. I checked it out to him and then started digging through the tool box to find it. As I was locating it, he proceeded to tell me, “The Phillips head one is the screwdriver with...
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But how is your ancient Greek?
My friend and I were in her kitchen reading a text in ancient Greek, and we were trying to come up with a good translation of a certain word. Her boyfriend walked in and, having heard two seconds of the conversation, starts spitting out a billion synonyms we could use. Note that he does not know what word we are talking about, he does not know anything about the language, and he didn’t even...
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I think I know how the Pill works
I always start my new package of birth control on a Sunday. Today, I pulled out a new package and started to open it before realizing it was actually Saturday. I commonly talk to myself, and added an “oops, never mind, it’s Saturday” as I set it down. My boyfriend took this opportunity to educate me on how it “doesn’t actually matter if the pills correspond to the...
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Train difficulty
Backstory for non-New Yorkers: the F and M trains, which run on the same track through most of Manhattan, are separated by a flight of stairs at the Essex stop. This means that if you’re going to Herald Square, as I do very often, you get to wait on the flight of stairs and keep an eye on both platforms to figure out which one is coming first. This unwieldy system has been in place for a...
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1 girl + 3 guys = continual mansplaining
I went on a trip with my boyfriend and his two male best friends this week and between the three of them it seemed I was always wrong about something and needed countless lectures throughout the trip. I will share two stories in particular.
1. When my boyfriend and I started dating he couldn’t cook whatsoever and at his request I helped and encouraged him to grow his skills, particularly by...
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Yet another mansplaining gynecologist
I have suffered from endometriosis for the past decade. My doctor had exhausted every treatment option but hysterectomy, but he wanted to send me to a doctor who was would be more aware of whether or not any new treatments had been developed.
The visit with the new doctor began with a drawing of the female reproductive organs. He then started by saying: “these are your ovaries, this is...
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Ready to explain how politics works!
I HOPE this has been posted by someone already:
“Urging Toronto residents again to get involved in local government, Mayor Rob Ford offered on Sunday to personally “explain how politics works” to women who are interested in running for office.
“I’ve had a lot of people who’ve been calling me — I don’t know what it is — the last couple weeks, about wanting to get involved in politics, or...
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Dadsplained, or I Almost Threw My Shoe at his Face
I was at an academic conference with my father (he’s in the same field as I am - he’s a prof and I’m a PhD student). We were heading to a restaurant I had found for dinner that was right beside the hostel I was staying in. As we were walking, my father took a wrong turn (he had never looked at the map as to where it was) and I called after him. He turned around and explained that...
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But I HAD to be wrong, and he HAD to be right
I completed my Master’s education in a different province than I am originally from. I was at a party in that different province having a nice conversation with someone who had briefly lived in my home province. I can’t remember exactly how the conversation got into the topic of Members of Parliament, but the fellow made a comment about the political stripes of the MPs from my home...
3 tags
Nurse or teacher or..
The other day I was at a bus shelter waiting for a bus. This older man (late 70’s, I’m guessing) began talking to me. He started asking me what grade I’m in and why I wasn’t at school (it was around 2:00pm - but I’m 19 and in University, although I admit I look about 15). I proceeded to correct him politely. He asked me what I’m doing in University, and I...
2 tags
Tell me more about my female privilege
My boyfriend and I run a sales office together, and one of my responsibilities is to train all new hires on how to sell our product. One day I had a new guy come in for training who was about 25 years older than me and had sold this product before for the far less productive sales team that we replaced. We got set up at our work location and I started introducing him to some of our basic sales...
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Your cello is a violin
I was on my way to an orchestra rehearsal the other day, and on reaching my bus stop, set my double bass down. A guy moved over to make room for me, which was nice, and commented that I must be very strong to carry such a big cello. I thanked him for the compliment, but informed him that it was in fact a bass. He refused to listen, going on and on about how great cellos were and trying to explain...
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How centimeters work
Last week, the president of my company tasked me with making to-scale representations of desks/shelves/tables out of post-it notes to stick onto a floor plan.
“So I brought you this ruler,” he said, and put the plastic instrument we’ve all seen and used since grade school on my desk. “And this side is the centimeters, and you see that I need some of these to be,...
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The kicker was that he was a Freshman
During my first week of graduate school I decided to check out the dining hall to see if the food was any good. Well, I sat down at a booth facing a boy sitting at this table. I nodded and then began eating. Out of nowhere he tries to engage me in a talk on linguistics, proudly showing off everything he knows. I nod along because I’m just polite to a fault. Then he gets up from his table and...
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That's what you get for "firing" your boyfriend
A few years back I suffered from depression. My parents urged me to make good use of all the help available to get better, so I started going to a psychologist, I took anti-depression medication, and I attended group-sessions, where we each told our stories and supported each other in getting better.
I was doing better, but then started spiralling downwards again. Therefore I went to my doctor to...
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Women don't know Tarkowski
I had written a piece online about the Russian film director Andrey Tarkowski. A few days later I received a mail from a man about by age starting with “How wonderful to see a woman who knows of Tarkowski! that’s quite rare…” and proceeded to write a list of other directors to check if I knew of them (probably hoping to be able to educate me) and about what a great artist...
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Please validate my actions.
I am an executive member of the course union for my program at my university. I love my course and I love being a part of the union. Unfortunately, one member of the executive board drives me up the wall. It might just be because he’s a pompous ass, but it comes off as mansplaining a lot of the time.
This year, I organised the majority of events on my own, simply because it was faster and...
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Repeating while male
For context. I work in a technical field. I have a PhD. I’m in my mid-thirties, and work mostly with men. Overall, it is a supportive environment and I consider my co-workers to be friends. We were recently in a meeting discussing a technical issue that was frustrating. Our staff member leading it kept discarding quite important requirements that are critical. We were finally having a...
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Girls can't win fights
A while back, my ex-boyfriend and I got into an argument of who would win in a fist fight, me or our other friend. My arguments for myself for winning were that I am very health conscious and eat healthy foods while I was sure the other boy did not eat healthy at all and he basically drank his body weight in alcohol every night, I work out and run a lot (and have been for the last 6 years) so I...
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Will the mansplaining of ladyparts never cease?
I’ve had guy friends try to explain to me that female genitalia is not, in fact, called the “vulva,” but instead the “vagina.” You would think I would know, considering I have one and all.
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Mansplaining Your Sexual Orientation For You...
So one of my Uni man friends and I were discussing the new Galaxy ad today and I was trying to make clear my utter pleasure at the work that went in to creating the 3D rendering of it and in doing so said “I nearly jizzed”.
My man friend, in reply, actually jumped back and made dramatic and over-the-top noises in reaction to this. At first I thought I’d overstepped social bounds and offended...
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I guess I don't understand my schedule...
So, I’m an undergraduate student in the liberal arts and sciences college at my university. We also have a college of engineers and they have earlier class registration times.
I wanted to be in a class that had very few spots, and I came up an idea that many others admitted was quite clever.
Get an engineer to register the class, then coordinate so they drop it just as you’re...
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Conclusions of essay mansplained to writer of...
A few years ago, I was a third-year politics student discussing Scottish independence with a male second-year chemistry student. He started to explain a few elementary details about the UK and Scotland.
‘Yes,’ I interrupted, ‘I know, I’ve just written an essay on this subject.’
Undeterred, and not showing the slightest interest in my essay, he continued to list...
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Women Out-Math Men? Statistically Impossible!
I am taking an extremely challenging math-based logic class as I work toward my Bachelor’s degree. Half the class failed the first exam. As the prof was about to hand back the second exam, he took the time to give us some statistics that were, to him, nearly impossible to comprehend. The average score for the women in class was 94%, whereas the highest score for any man in the class was only...
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The Mansplaining of Horror
I am doing a PhD about horror. As you can imagine, a lot of people question the merit of the thesis (none of their business), my employment prospects (I can’t move for job offers), and other things that aren’t their business. Fortunately, it’s also a great conversation topic and is usually met with wild enthusiasm from anyone I meet.
Last week I was a panelist during a training...
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I don't need to read to know it's wrong...
I am finishing up my PhD, and grading student essays that were to be a critical response to an article they had read. When explaining this to a (rather intelligent) man in my life, I gave a somewhat cursory overview of the article, and he started to question and challenge the author’s thesis. I countered a few times by explaining some of her more nuanced points, but he continued to speak...
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Top tip!
At a colloquium I was at recently, one of the speakers was late because, it turned out, he had been at an interview and got the job. I’d never met this man before, but I was obviously very happy for him.
Me: It’s just nice to know that it’s even possible. I’ve been applying for a year now with no luck at all.
Him: Where you should really be looking is Oxford and...
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I know the title of your newspaper section!
Earlier today, I was elected editor of my school newspaper’s Editorial and Opinion section (abbreviated Ed/Op). This section comprises a page of editor’s “notebooks”, and a short article written by all the editors. Another page contains articles written by the students in charge of the governing bodies at our school. Other pages include opinion pieces or columns.
I...
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Meta-Mansplaining
Philosophers often present works-in-progress or previously-published works to each other at conferences and colloquia. I was present at one such talk given by a female philosopher presenting her recently-published research on structural and cultural aspects of systematic injustice. After an hour-long carefully laid out presentation of background, argument, and application to concrete cases, the...
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But cars are such complicated things!
I recently moved two provinces away from my hometown to pursue a masters degree in a field of medical research. Now, I’m a naturally curious person, and I like to do my research or consult someone who knows more than I do before I make any kind of important decision.
In Canada, registering a car requires an out-of-province inspection, and you must fix anything they recommend prior to...
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In which a "male ally" of FEMEN explains to me I'm...
I recently wrote an article critiquing the Ukrainian organization FEMEN for being too dictatorial in their position that nudity, de-facto, equals freedom. To quote a friend of mine, “If you want to get naked, boo, do it. Just do you, boo. Just do you.” I received numerous responses from men, and thought I’d share two of the gems — sent from self-described “male...
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"Individual" Mansplained
I’m 57-year-old pursuing a higher degree at a prestigious university to which I transferred after graduating in the top one-half of one percent of my class from my previous college. My sociology professor asked if anyone in class had questions about the week’s readings. Because I grew up in a different generation than my 20-something classmates, I was interested in the definition of...
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You don't want premature wrinkles, do you?
I was a teenager and had to go see a doctor to get some more cream to treat the occasional eczema breakouts I got. It was the first time I’d ever encountered him, and at first he seemed a little cold, but otherwise okay, but it didn’t last long. He asked me where it was that I usually used the cream. I explained that I applied it to the patches I got on my upper arms and elbows, and...
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Moving vansplained
So yesterday I helped my friend move. I hade a huge van parked on the street and people were moving out furniture and boxes to the van and then I put the things in the van using my excellent spatial visualization ability to make sure everything would fit. I didn’t know exactly how much stuff I had to put in there so I started out at the back of the van filling up all the space upwards to the...
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Brief Bus Mansplaination
I’m a twenty-something year old woman and was waiting for the bus with a few other people. When it finally pulled up and I stepped forward to get in line for it, a middle-aged man who had also been waiting suddenly grabbed me by the arm, pulled and steered me in front of him straight to the bus doors, complete with a concerned-sounding: “This way now, love.”
I didn’t know...
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You must be a kept woman, a secretary, or an...
I still cannot believe the following “conversation” actually took place…the story never ceases to amaze everyone.
I was at my cousin’s pre-wedding cocktail party back at the tender young age of 22, about 8 years ago. I was talking to my dad and telling him how excited I was about my upcoming travels to London and Bangladesh. An interested older gentleman who I thought was...
